Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
did you just send me my own nude
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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