I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
