i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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