it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
