How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
