Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
