He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
