worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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