You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
