some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
