she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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