he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
So vagazzling was a success
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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