He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
