May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
