Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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