no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
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