Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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