the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
