I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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