let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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