There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
