stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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