Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
