Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
