real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
She said her name was "party"
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
