My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
they need to just BURY HIM!
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
