Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
