Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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