Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
