Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
