I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
