Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
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