There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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