i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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