I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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