I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
