is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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