Heybabeimwearingurpanties
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
