i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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