dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
where are my pants?
in the oven.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
