i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
