oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
