So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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