Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
BRING THE BAGELS
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
