is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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