feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
You're like the curious george of whores
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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