I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Can you bring me the toilet please
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
