I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
