He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
