so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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