Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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