yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
