idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
her vagine was all disorganized.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
