Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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