No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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