at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
