The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
