I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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