The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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