I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
