they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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