Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize