So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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