Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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