i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
