My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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