Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
