I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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