trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I just want to make out with him forever
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
