also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
no, he came in my armpit
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
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