Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize