using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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